Routine

For as long as my husband has known me, which is a long time, he has always "made fun" of me for being a person who functions best with routine. When we were were just an engaged couple he worked on the road. Often he was away 2 weeks at a time and then home for a week. I was never a huge fan of him being away for 2 weeks at a time but I had my routine when he was gone - school, work, friends, etc... When he would come home after being away for 2 weeks or longer, he would throw off my routine. It took all my power not to snap because of it.
Now, as a wife and Mother I have even more routine (which as a young, single woman, I never thought possible). I have the giant "Mom" calendar on my fridge saying what days I work, what is happening at school for the kids, when my night classes are, when the kids activities are, playdates, weddings, medical appointments, etc, etc... A blank day on our calendar is few and far between.
With that being said, this summer, my calendar often had many free days. I never had to work. I didn't have night class. The kids activities were off for the summer. The only things written were fun playdates or vacations planned! It was a dream! I got used to drinking tea on the deck while the kids played and not getting out of our jammies until 11am. I got used to later suppers and free evenings to go for bike rides or have friends over for sangria! As much as I thrive on routine, I thoroughly enjoyed a less hectic schedule and doing what we wanted whenever we wanted!
Now, life is back to structure. Last night I sat down at the table with my calendar and started writing things in...night classes 2 nights a week, school everyday for Rory, preschool for Jack, work for me, Henry's 1st birthday, weddings, swim lessons, dance registration, hockey and figure skating registration! Suddenly my calendar is filling up at a rapid pace and even though I know I will function with all of this, I also feel a little anxiety. I always thought that when the kids were really little that it was my most hectic time. Up every 3 hours in the night, the constant feedings, diaper changes, nap times, etc. Don't get me wrong, thats crazy too! But, now that I have school activities and work and my own classes and the kids activities its a never ending day! Run run run.
Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't have it any other way. Night classes for me means that I have been given the opportunity to expand my education. Hectic? Yes. Important? Absolutely. Running 4 nights a week with kids activities means that I have healthy, active children. I wouldn't want it any other way. Work means that my husband and I are making money and able to grow and learn everyday. I love my job. He loves his.
Last night I was feeling overwhelmed. I said to my husband "I think I have to drop out of my class. I don't think I can do it all. I know education is important but being there for my kids and their activities is also important!" He said "Don't do anything drastic yet. Let's see what happens. Let's see where everything falls. We will work it out. Together."
With all of this being said it brings me to the gratitude challenge that was going around facebook. I loved waking up and checking facebook to see the things people were thankful for. I found it really changed everyones outlook. People lost the negativity. So even though I did the gratitude challenge I feel like today I need to sit down and be thankful instead of feeling stressed and swamped!
So here it goes:
1) My job. Even though I don't have a full time contract I enjoy the hours I do have and the subbing possibilities I receive. I am thankful for the staff I work with and the opportunities I have to learn and grow in my job.
2) My kids. They are very active kids. They enjoy dance, hockey, swimming, figure skating, etc. Even though it makes for a busy calendar I like nothing more than to cheer them on and see their excitement!
3) My husband. When I feel frazzled or overwhelmed he is there to bring me back down and calm me down. Letting me know that we can work it out as a team and I can do the same for him when the roles are reversed.
4) My night classes. I am given the opportunity to go back to school for something I am passionate about and have it paid for by my work. I think all education is important but free education is so wonderful. Plus, I got to meet some really wonderful ladies by taking this class as well.
5) Big ass calendars from costco! This allows me to stay organized (and my husband) and keep my head on straight!
6) My family and babysitters. They are always there to help out when I need to sub at work, or run to activities or school, etc. If you would have asked me when I was 18 if I would ever move back to Bruno I would have said "hell no" but now I couldn't imagine it being any other way. I love being close to my family and Kurtis' family. I love this small town!
7) For my bed. After busy days of running around - there is nothing sweeter than crawling into my nice, cozy bed.
8) Wine. Sometimes a big glass of wine can make the day all better too!!!
I'm sure this list could go on and on!
Anyways - to all of you out there trying to get back into routine! Good luck! I hope you can all find the time to be where you wanna be and when you wanna be there! I hope you can find your balance and keep your sanity! I hope you also have good people in your life to help out when you need it. I also hope you can sit down and find a few things to be thankful for - even on the craziest of days!

Different Reasons

If you ever ask a parent what the best part of being a parent is, you'll get the answers like "They are the reason I wake up every morning" or "When they smile at you there is no better feeling in the world" or "Being called 'Mom' is my greatest honor". Now, I'm not saying any of those things aren't true. I mean, I love my kids. I love being a Mom, but no one ever says why they are the reason you wake up every morning. You wake up every morning because they're hungry, they have to pee, they can't sleep past 7 or 8 (or for others 5 or 6). Yes, they have wonderful, gorgeous little smiles, do you know why they are giving you that lovely little smile? Because while they were playing outside they decided to try pooping in a bush and "succeeded" and they have to come and tell you how great they are for doing so (sadly, enough, this is a true story for me!) And yes, being called "Mom" is a HUGE honor and I am oh so grateful but sometimes I think I should record how many times a day I hear "MOM!" in a day. Good grief!

So here are a few things I like about being a Mom but maybe its a little different take than you're used to.

1) When your baby is constipated and FINALLY poops - even though it has exploded out of his diaper and up his back and ruined another onesie. You're so happy it finally happened you clean all the crap up with a big ass grin while saying "Good boy!!!"

2) The moment when you realize how quickly your children are growing up and all the times you've thought it would be easier when they are older. Suddenly, you realize that you're so proud of the little people they are becoming but saddened by how independent they are becoming all at the same time.

3) When your child out smarts you and knows it and you think to yourself "smart ass kid" but in your head you're thinking "Ya! This kid is gonna succeed in life!"

4) The day your kid is having a temper tantrum and you say "1...2...do you know what happens when I get to 3?" and they stop screaming and simply state "You're gonna spank my butt!" and I think "FINALLY I AM SUCCEEDING at this parenting thing because not only did they listen but they stopped crying!" Winning!!!

5) When you ask your child, "what do you have inside your head?" and they respond "rocks and skittles" and you love him still the same (if not a little more) and you understand the true love a parent has for their children.

6) When your baby is so frustrated that he can't crawl and you wish and pray everyday that he would just figure it out. Then he figures it out and he is constantly dumping dirt out of your flower pots, emptying the cat water and splashing in it or finding random disgusting-ness on the floor and eating it and all you can think is "Look how happy that little holy terror is!"

7) When your oldest child does all the talking for her younger brother and finally he says "HEY! I'm talking" when she interrupts him and you think "mmm hmmm, you got told!" and beam with pride at the way he stood his ground.

8) The day your daughter starts asking questions about gay/lesbian couples and she so simply understands and excepts that love is love - no matter what, and you know she will go places with that beautiful outlook on life.

9) When your baby finally starts feeding himself finger foods and holding his own sippy cup and suppers no longer consist of separate "baby food meals" or pureeing, etc. Finally everyone can eat at the same time and eat when its hot. Same goes for the day everyone will be potty trained...2 down 1 to go...not that I'm counting.

10) When you ask your children at bed time "what was your favorite part of your day?" and they respond with answers like "When I pooped" or "when we went to the park", "when we snuggled on the couch", "when you read us a story", "when we went for a bike ride", etc and its a true reminder that the simple things in life really are the best things.

I'm sure this list could go on for miles and that many Mom's and Dad's could think of other things to add that I have missed but these are a few reasons that I find being a Mom so rewarding. I once read a quote that said "Parenting - when the days are long but the years are short" and I couldn't agree more.

Life is too short.

On June 8th, 2014, the world seemed a little less bright. That day we lost Michael Manderschied. He was a beautiful soul and one of my long time friends. Memories of Michael go all the way back to age 3 or 4 for me. We attended preschool together and I remember becoming good friends with him then. I remember playdates in the sandbox and then in University drinking beers in either my apartment, my basement suite or my first home or going to the Long Branch and dancing the night away. Michael was a part of every major memory in  my life and its a hard pill to swallow knowing he won't be around for my new memories to come.

What I will always remember best about Mike is his love of life. His cheery personality, his big smile, his determination. Even with all the obstacles he faced being in a wheelchair he never chose the easy way because of it. I remember going to Grifftith's Stadium in Saskatoon and running alongside him on the track as he trained. Every time he pushed himself a little harder and succeeded a bit more. I remember doing fundraiser races with him - once our team all wore Dodge (Mopar) shirts and the other time we were dressed in toilet paper! He did track, water sports, skiing, sledge hockey, etc... He was a huge sports fan and was an inspiration to me and many, many others.

Anyone who ever met Mike, wanted to be his friend. He could have a conversation with anyone, young or old. There is never a struggle to find what to say and when he spoke, you listened, because he was smart, interesting, funny and inspirational. I could go on for hours about wonderful memories that I have made with him. The memories fill my heart with happiness and sorrow all at the same time. I think of his parents, his brother, his sister in law and niece. I think about all the friends he has made over his 29 years of life. He will be missed but never, ever forgotten.

Mike, you were a beautiful soul. You touched many lives. You were my friend, my inspiration and you've changed my life for the better by just knowing you. I feel honored and privileged to have been a part of your life. Our world seems a little less bright now that you're gone, but WOW, has heaven ever gained one hell of an Angel. I hope you're driving around in a Mopar up there - maybe its plum crazy purple...remember that was my favorite color?! I hope you're drinking an ice cold beer and smiling that big smile that could light up a room. I hope you're laughing at the good times you've had and feeling happy in your new paradise. We miss you here, more than you'll ever know.

Until we meet again, bud. I love you & miss you.

You just never know.

This morning my youngest son woke up and I took him into bed with me - taking full advantage of my week off work (and my oldest 2 still sleeping). He lay beside me kicking and coo'ing while I tickled his toes and played peek a boo. Eventually, I grabbed my phone from the night stand and checked my facebook. The first thing that appeared on my newsfeed was my friends sisters blog. I opened it up and started reading her newest entry that was talking about today being the 10 year anniversary of her Dad's passing. Now, I never knew her Dad. I felt like I did because I had heard my friend and her sister talk about him before. I had seen photos. But, as I read the blog I cried. I cried like I knew that man. I cried because I felt my heart ache for my friends and their family. I thought about my family. I thought about the pain I would feel if I lost a parent. The pain is actually unbearable for me to think about. I often think I wouldn't function properly after losing a parent. I think that everyone I saw and everywhere I looked I would be reminded and the sadness would be constant. But, then I look at my friends who have lost a parent and their strength and courage is outstanding to me. They are able to tell stories about their Dad and not break down, but instead laugh at the happy memories.

What I'm getting at with this is that we often judge people. We all do it. We find something to knit pick them about and judge away...their clothes, their smile, their voice, their family, their house, their car, etc etc...its all ridiculous but we all do it. But, you know what if you looked at my friends who lost a parent you wouldn't say "hey, they look sad..." instead you may say "They have big smiles", "Look at their beautiful children" or "listen to their boisterous laughs". Don't judge someone - you never know what their journey has been. You don't know what they've seen or what they've been though.

Today after I read that blog and had my cry, I gave each one of my kids a little extra hug. I thought about my parents and thought, I better call them today and say a simple "I love you". Life is short. We hear it all the time, but its true. Hold onto those you love. Don't judge because you don't know the journey. You don't know how many tears someones eyes have cried.

Why so negative?

The recent "love yourself selfies" has caused many feel good moments for people - including myself! It has also caused a few people to post rants about it. I laugh and shake my head at those people who had to look so deeply into these photos and ruin it for people. I think it was fun. I think its a way to show empowerment and to truly love yourself. You can post a make up free photo and still love make up. I do. I wear make up almost everyday. I love going on a date with my husband or out with my girlfriends and wearing bright lipstick and having long eye lashes full of mascara! I am a make up lover but I also love my naked face too. I like my freckles and stumpy lashes (Ok, so I don't love my stumpy lashes, but they're me!) I liked seeing my friends with their fresh faces...some with towels on their heads, some just out of bed, some with their beautiful children beside them. I also liked the ones that some men posted with their facial hair and goofy looks on their faces. I liked the joke ones. I liked the serious ones. Each and every one was beautiful and made me happy.

For those of you that had to write things like "Selfies aren't attractive - let alone the ones where you have no make up and you're unrecognizable" or said "Why don't you post a picture when you're all dressed up and feel sexy?" Well, you know what? You can post a photo like that. I see people posting photos of themselves all the time in their fancy outfits and hair and make up all done. I love those photos too. But, for once, people were changing it up a bit and showing their fresh faces and I loved it. Stop being Debbie Downers people! Stop ruining things. Its fine to have an opinion and if you didn't want to do the make up free selfie, then don't. No one will make you (nomination or not) so, just don't do it. But, don't be a jerk to those people who had a little fun with it. I just don't understand why people have to make a big deal about nothing. Its pointless.

Life is a lot happier if you just look at the positives. I'm guilty as any one else to find a negative but when it comes to something as harmless as a fun, make up free photo, what is there to turn negative? Enjoy it people. You'll be a lot happier.

For those of you who did fill my Facebook newsfeed with fun, make up free selfies, thank you! I enjoyed each and every one. For those of you who tried to ruin it, I hope you find something else to spend your time ranting on...something worth ranting on, at least.

Have a wonderful day everyone- with orr without make up!

Friends

Friends always amaze me. In my 28 years of life I have had many, many friends. I have had friends that have been a part of my life since the day I was born and are still incredibly important to me now. I have friends that I met in elementary school, middle school and high school. Some of which I am still good friends with today and others that have come and gone in my life. I have friends that I made in University/when I lived in Saskatoon. I have friends I made when I moved back to Bruno. I have friends I have met through work, Mom's groups and my kids activities. Friends I have met through my husband, through my family, through my children. Some of these people have been a part of my life for only a brief moment and some for many, many years. None being more important than the other because in one way or another they were special to me for either a day, a month or many years.

These people have come into my life and some have left it now but they have all made impacts on me. I have learned things from each and every friendship - each one unique and different. To my friend that I have known all my life - you're the true definition of a best friend. You've been a part of every single big and small moment in my life - even when we weren't in the same town or province. We can talk everyday or once every couple months and there is never a lull in the conversation. I can call you when I'm the most happy and I can call you when I'm the most sad and you're there all the same. I hang up the phone feeling almost drunk because of the happiness you bring to my life! 28 years is a long time...can't wait for 28 more!

To the friend I have had since preschool - you've grown up right beside me. Preschool to Grade 12. SIAST and University. Parties, bars, engagement, marriage and now families! You've seen my best and my worst and we still have one another's back!

To my friends that were near and dear to me at one time and have since chosen different paths. Thank you for being a big part of my life - whether it was a year or two or three. Thank you for being a stepping stone to who I am today. You helped me realize what is important to me.

To my friends that I still love dearly but maybe am at a different place in my life than you or that I am unable to see or talk to as much as I wish I could - you're not forgotten. I wish you well and when we see each other again you will realize that you're always in my heart, even if we don't get a chance to see one another as much as we maybe should.

To my newest friends - I'm excited to see where we end up! I'm excited for our fun times we've had already and for the fun times still to come!

Everyone needs a friend! I'm so lucky to have the ones I do and to have had the ones I did!

What I want to be when I grow up.

We always ask children "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and they will answer things like "A Firefighter", "A hairdresser", "A teacher", "A Barbie" (Yes, I've actually witnessed that answer), "A scuba diver" or maybe "A nurse". Regardless of what it is we've been asking that question or have been asked that question for years and years. I remember wanting to be a teacher, a veterinarian, back to a teacher, as I got older, a social worker and then going to University and being unsure of where I was headed. I worked a few jobs, a few of which I could of made "careers" out of. Then I became a Mom and that became my career. Now, as I am done having children and even though they are young and being at home with them is still priority, I often ask myself "What do you want to be when you grow up, Janna?" Now when I sit back and really think about this question, my answer has changed dramatically. 

Here is what I want to be when I grow up:

I want to be happy. 
I want to be content.
I want to be generous.
I want to be patient.
I want to be kind.
I want to be healthy.
I want to be loving.
I want to be trustworthy.
I want to be non-judgmental.
I want to be unique.
I want to be honest.
I want to be hard working.
I want to be faithful.
I want to be soulful.

I do believe you must love your job. How can you get up day in and day out if you hate your job? But, I don't think your job defines who you are. If someone asks me "What type of job do you do?" I would be happy to say "I'm a Mother of three and I work as an Educational Assistant"  but if someone says "What do you want to be when you grow up?"...well that my friend is harder to answer...I want to be a lot of things. I often think that if someone had to write a Eulogy for me, I would want them to think of me as those things. I would want to be remembered as happy and patient and kind. Or generous, caring and unique. And if I want people to remember me that way when I'm gone then I need to live that way now! 

A blessing and a curse?

Being a Mother is a wonderful thing. I have done a lot of things in my 28 years but becoming a Mother has been #1. I can't think of anything in my life that is even comparable. But, I find that many aspects of being a Mother is both a blessing and a curse. Now, some of you may be freaking out reading that and thinking that I am saying parts of being a parent is a curse...that is not the case. Read on and let me clarify my statement of being a MOTHER is both a blessing and a curse.

#1 - BREASTFEEDING. I LOVE breastfeeding. I have breastfed all of my children and look back at doing that with fond memories. I am still nursing my youngest (almost 5 months old). I love nursing because I feel like I get a real moment to bond with my baby. There are many times when I remember curling up in a rocking chair and nursing and having a quiet moment with my baby. A Father does not get that privilege. Its a blessing for a Mom (who chooses to nurse and enjoys it. I realize its not for everyone.) Its a curse in the fact that when your baby of only a few days or weeks old wakes up every 1 or 2 hours, cluster feeding, all night long and the nursing Mother gets up every time to feed. Then, its a curse.

#2 - Just recently my husband and I have started a bit of sleep training with our almost 5 month old. He was becoming a terrible sleeper at night and we knew he was getting in some bad habits and wanted to fix them before they got too bad. I was complaining to my husband one night before sleep training officially started that I was exhausted from getting up all night long and still having to function either at work or with the other kids. He said "I don't mind getting up when you really need the break - especially on weekends when I don't have to get to work". I then had to explain that it doesn't matter because even if Henry wakes up and my husband goes to him (which I do appreciate), I will lie awake and listen to him soothing him to sleep, changing a diaper, etc. He said "Why? We have 3 kids. I am very capable" and I know that he is. I have no doubts in his parenting skills. But, once again, its a Mothers blessing and a curse. When our babies need soothing, loving, rocking, sleep training, etc etc we feel we have to be there for every single minute. I can very easily stay in my bed and let my husband go and tuck him back in or feed him a bottle that I pumped but I won't get any sleep. I will lay in my bed and listen to them in the monitor and fall back asleep when my husband comes back to bed and I know my baby is sound asleep again.

#3 - carrying a child. I couldn't imagine not being the one to carry my babies for 9 months and go through the whole labor and delivery thing. Don't get me wrong. Its not all pleasant by any means but nonetheless I consider it a "blessing" that I was able to do so 3 times. But with such a blessing comes the curse; excess weight, stretch marks, saggy boobs and extra skin, kegels, kegels, kegels!

#4 - Mommy guilt! Now this can cover oh so much! But to name a few that I have gone through. When I decide to quit nursing - whatever time that may be. You feel guilty (are they ready? Am I ready?) Being a stay at home Mom has guilt (They are missing out of the 'daycare' experience. They don't get a chance to play with other kids like daycare kids do.) If I go back to work whether after 4 months or 4 years (Is this the right thing to do? Do they need me at home? Is it worth it?) Wanting (perhaps needing!) an evening out - whether a date night with your hubby or a girls night out (Should I be home? Why do I feel like I need a night out? I should stay home...all the time!) Or disciplining your child. They need to be disciplined and you stand your ground and you do whats right and as your child is either having a time out or you've taken away one of their favorite things as punishment you lock yourself in the bathroom, feeling so terrible for doing so but know you can't cave. These are just to name a few and I'm sure for the most part reading that you're thinking "what part of that is a blessing?"  but I consider it to be a blessing because if you have those strong feelings it must be because you feel very strongly about something. If you didn't love your kids and your family you wouldn't struggle with Mom guilt. But, its also unfortunate (a curse, one might say) that you question everything you do. Why can't the decision to go back to work or stay home from be easy? Why can't disciplining your kids or planning an evening out be simple? Because we love our kids. We love our kids more than anyone every could and we always question ourselves because we want nothing but the best.

Being a Mother is a BLESSING! But even the most blessed things can cause for hard times! Let's just hope that the good outweighs the bad!

That's a hard question

Today I read a blog about Questions that will save your relationship. I found it very interesting because the woman who wrote it wrote about the time when she had three small children at home - which is what I have. She talked about how a day as a stay at home Mom can be a whirlwind of emotions. Your day can be brutal and beautiful. You can be bored out of your mind but completely overwhelmed with everything you need to do. You can just want 5 minutes alone but the second you put your baby down you want to pick him up and take in his sweet smell again.
I know that some days I think I am the luckiest girl in the world for being able to stay home with my three babies and also feel bitter at the same time that I don't get to leave the house when its a mess and my kids are cranky! We are trained from young kids on to be polite and ask people "How was your day?" Its a nice thought to ask that question in hopes to hear "Great! How was yours?" But in reality, thats a terribly open question. On any given day if you say "Janna, how was your day?" I could say something like "I woke up exhausted and cranky but got in a cup of tea and a snuggle with Jack and then it got better. Then Jack spilled juice all over the floor and dumped out a bucket of legos and I felt like all I do is clean. But, then Henry started jumping like crazy in his jumperoo and giggling and I had to laugh and the mess seemed less extreme. Then my daughter came home from school and said she read a book and was so proud and I thought my heart was going to explode. Then I was trying to have supper ready by the time my husband got home from work but my baby was hungry at the same time and my son needed to go poop and wouldn't let anyone turn on the bathroom light but me and my daughter wanted help with her homework and I felt like I was spinning in circles!"
I like the idea of asking something like "When did you feel really happy today?" or if you can tell someone is having a rough day to say "What happened today to make you blue?" It becomes less open ended. In the blog I read she said that it seems weird to ask those things at first but is it really weird or have we just become so used to saying "How was your day?" that asking more specific things becomes "weird"? Or are we too scared to actually be honest about how we feel in fear of judgement?  I often ask people "how are you?" or "How was your day?" but I do think people never answer that honestly or we don't actually listen enough to hear the truth. It becomes so normalized to just say "Fine" or "Good". I do agree that many days are good or have a lot of good in them but even with all the good we have bad and we don't need to be ashamed of that. Maybe we are exhausted or we had a bad day with the kids or at work or you and your husband got in a fight or you gained 5 pounds, etc etc. The list can go on and on. Do we have to hide that when our husbands or wives ask "How was your day?" or when your best friend says "how's it going?". Do we have to lie and say "fine" or "good". I think not. But, I think as long as we say "How are you?" we will continue to have answers that aren't that truthful.  I am going to work on not only asking my husband a different version of "How was your day?" but I am going to ask my kids the same. When my daughter comes home from school and I say "How was your day?" she says "Good" or "I don't know". At bed time when I ask my kids "What was the best part of your day?" they actually think. They think about their day and can actually pick out a favorite thing. If I ask them "what was the worst part of your day?" they can usually think of something that way too, if they really stop and think. It may be as simple as "When I stubbed my toe on the ottoman" or "When you said I couldn't have a fruit snack at supper time" but nonetheless we are sitting and talking and learning more about one another. Maybe if I say "What part of your day pissed you off?" when my husband comes home grumbling about his job. Or if he is all smiles I can say "What happened to make you so happy?" then maybe I will find out a little more. Its worth a shot right?
Everyone wants someone to pay attention to them. I think that these types of questions could save your relationship...not only a relationship with your spouse or significant other but also your relationship with your kids or your friends.

Celebrity Dinner

I'm hosting a celebrity dinner. Well, in my mind I am anyways! And I'm trying to think of which celebrities I would want to sit around a table with. Here's what I've come up with!

1. Jennifer Aniston. Why? Because she is my CRUSH! 'Nuff said.
2. Jimmy Fallon. He makes me laugh hysterically and seems like a genuinely cool dude.
3. Ellen DeGeneres. Also so funny and I think she is a really good person. I think she would not only be a fun party guest but she would be interesting to talk to.
4. P!NK. Maybe she will sing? Maybe she will drink too much and swear like a trucker? Maybe she will do one handed push ups on the dinner table? Either way. She's in! Love her.
5. Pope Francis. I find him fascinating. I would love to hear his word and be in his presence.
6. Oprah Winfrey. I know its a bit cliche, doesn't everyone say they want to meet her? But, I do. I think she does a lot of good in the world. More than many rich celebrities do. I think she is genuine and pretty wise. I would hope that if she came to a dinner party of mine I would continue to be in awe of her and not disappointed.
7. Julia Roberts. She is beautiful and seems like a down to earth woman. I think she would be someone who could sit and drink a glass of wine and discuss the up's and down's of being a Mom. We could be friends!

Others I would invite...Justin Timberlake (he is hilarious with Jimmy Fallon, good eye candy and he can serenade!), Bruno Mars - for my daughter. That is her crush! Meryl Streep. Leonardo DiCaprio. Will Smith.
I suppose I could go on! And on! But it would be one hell of a big dinner party! Perhaps this can be my starter?

Oh how Fridays have changed!

Well I must admit, Friday's sure have changed (or I suppose weekends in general). I remember when I used to come home from work (or University) on a Friday, grab a quick bite, get changed, have some friends over, drink some pre drinks while deciding which pub or bar to hit up that evening. Saturday would consist of sleeping in, ordering in pizza and then going out again that night. Sunday was usually a major sleep in and then a lounge day while nursing a hangover. 
Now, my Friday's consist of home cooked meals, Uno Extreme, Guess Who? (the board game), bath time, Amelia Bedelia books, Dinosaur books, cuddles in bed and snuggling a 4 month old til he falls asleep in my arms. Saturdays consist of running to the rink to cheer on a group of 5 and 6 year olds play hockey, more bed time books and snuggles, Sundays consist of big breakfasts and family fun. 
So - has my life changed pretty dramatically in the past 5 years? HECK YES! But, I like where my life is going now. Now a evening out is a treat. A date with my husband or an evening with the girls is rare and thoroughly enjoyed when it happens. 
Tonight as I tucked my 3 year old into bed he asked me what he always does "Mom, what was your favorite part of the day?" and today I said "Going sliding on the hill at Uncle Bob's with you, Rory and Henry!" and he said "That was my favorite part of the day too!" and when we asked Rory she said "sliding and playing board games after supper with you and Daddy". Now, those are why Fridays at home are 100% worth it. I remember Friday nights with my family growing up. I remember movie nights and board game nights. Those are fond memories in my head and now I get to make those memories for my babies. 
Now my babies are sound asleep in their beds and I get to put on my jammies and curl up with my husband to watch a movie. It may not be a night of dancing at the coolest bar but it sounds pretty darn fun to me! Plus, my head is going to hurt a lot less tomorrow!!! 
Have a great weekend everyone - whatever a great weekend is to you! Cheers.

Mommy support!

Like all Mom's know - being a Mother is one of the most rewarding, fulfilling jobs in the world. Like all Mom's know - it is also the hardest job in the world. There are days when you will soar through the day and the next day will be one where you feel it will never end. Regardless of what the day, as Mom's we need to support each other. I love going on babycenter websites where you can ask a question or read other peoples questions like "Is it normal for a  baby to teeth at 3 months?" and have other Mom's from all over the world give back their stories of teething and words like "Oh my daughter teethed at 2 months. It was hell! Good luck!" or "My kids never got teeth until 9 months and it was no picnic...hoping you and your baby get through it ok!" These websites are proof that all Mom's have something in common - children! Whether we are friends that grew up together,  friends who just met in the past year, month, week or people we do not know at all, we all know that we need support some days for those hard days at our "job".
One of the main reasons I started blogging was for this reason. I wanted to write openly and honestly about life as a wife and mother of three. I called my blog "The good, the bad and the ugly" because that is exactly what my days can be like! For example - the good of the day thus far, sitting in Jerry's Food Emporium with my husband and kids and listening to Jack and Rory giggle and tell us jokes ("Mom, where does a snowman keep his money? A SNOW BANK") while Henry sat on my knee drooling because I gave him a taste of a french fry and I'm sure his mouth was in flavor country! The bad part of today? The fact that we needed diapers and to pick up a used jumperoo we found on kijiji and it had to be -45 outside! BRR! The ugly? While shopping in costco, Henry pooped all the way up his back and got a sponge bath in Costco bathroom and I even threw away his onesie because there was no way I was hauling that thing home! It looked like it was dipped in poop! Barf. There is good, bad and ugly in everyday (Mom or not) and I chose to blog so that new Mom's or second or third or fourth time Mom's can read it and laugh or if they are having a bad day they can realize they aren't alone. If you were in costco and your kid pooped up their back and in that moment you felt exhausted, its ok! It happened to me too and it probably happened to some other Mom too.
Yesterday, I went to my parents and my Mom tried to spend some time snuggling with my almost 4 month old but he had none of it. He cried as soon as Mom tried to hold him. This is not uncommon. He makes strange. In that moment my Mom said "He looks so cute when he smiles but I always see him sad" and honestly, that comment pulled on my heart strings. I wasn't upset that my Mom said that because its true. He is usually sad when she sees him. Many people do not get to see him as happy and fun as me and my husband and other kids do. He is the most happy when at home with just the five of us. Yesterday, after a long day of cleaning house, going to the rink to watch my daughter play hockey, laundry, and my husband being gone to fix a furnace I was sitting alone after the kids had gone to bed and in a sad moment wrote on facebook that I wanted some tips on how to help my son stop making strange. Now, as I wrote this I knew deep down that there was no magic thing to do. Its a stage and it needs to run its course and will eventually pass. I am a third time Mom, all my kids made strange. I remember when my daughter was 4 months old and we went to my Aunts for thanksgiving and she cried every time someone even looked at her. She was only happy in my arms. Jack made strange but a bit later in his life...more around 8 or 9 months and his continued into age one for quite some time. I wrote on facebook because I have many friends and acquaintances with kids and knew that if I wrote something like that I may get some really supportive responses. Comments from friends who had gone through the same things and could make me laugh or friends who went through it and can say "been there, done that, it passes, hang tight" or "Don't you hate when people say "this"? I know it drove me crazy" or simple things like "From one Mom to another - you're doing good! Hang in there".
In my moment of writing that I was in need of support - judgment free. I have written previously about judgment and that we are all guilty of it (including myself). But, a resolution I made even before new years was to be more supportive and less judgmental because like yesterday, I have had friends say "I can't get my kid to poop on the potty, what am I doing wrong?" or "My baby won't sleep, I'm exhausted, what do I do?" or "I'm on month 6 of trying to get pregnant and its not happening, what if I can't ever have a baby?" and that person who is struggling with potty training doesn't need to hear a list of do's and dont's as much as she needs to hear "It will come. You're doing it right - it will happen. Hang in there." and the tired Mom with a new baby needs to hear "He will sleep eventually, I promise. Call me if you're too exhausted and I will come over so you can have a nap. Sleep is so important." and that woman struggling to get pregnant needs to hear "You're going to make a great Mom, don't give up. Have fun trying. It will happen for you. I just know it." SUPPORT! We all need it. Mom or not we all need support. I want to thank those of you who did message me send thoughtful messages. I felt a lot of Mama love and felt much better after reading most of the comments. This morning while having tea with my husband, Henry had fallen asleep in my arms and before laying him in his crib I took a moment to breathe him in and think about what a few people had said "one day he won't want to be laying in your arms" and its true. When I wrote that message I wasn't trying to rush his baby stage. I love babies. I love this stage. Yesterday in that moment I was feeling sad for Henry because I don't like to see him distressed. I was feeling sad that my Mom wasn't able to see his cute smile and hear his happy coo's because he was too sad. I was feeling sad for me because I felt I hadn't had a moment to myself in months (I don't really have it that bad but in that moment, I felt blue). But, to my friends who made supportive, judgement free comments (you know who you are) - thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.You lifted me up and brightened my moment of sadness. Today was a new day and I felt better and felt proud to hold my little "Mama's boy" and I was happy to have my 3 year old "Mama's boy" and my 5 year old "Mama's girl" and my hubby all in tow! Today was filled with a little bad and a little ugly but it was filled with a hell of a lot of GOOD!

New Years Resolutions

January 1st is always the time when everyone is making resolutions. Don't kid yourself, we all do it. We choose something we want to change and sometimes we succeed and we do in fact do our resolution for longer than a day! Sometimes its a month, a couple months...sometimes its an epic fail! But, with that being said, here I am on January 1st and I am thinking of all the things I would like to do in 2014...what changes do I want to make to better my life? I could make a list of 100 things - easy. But, I also want to be a little realistic and only do things I can actually accomplish. I can talk all day about making a change but nothing changes by talking...I actually have to do it!

As I pondered what I wanted most I went to losing weight. Since having Henry almost 4 months ago I carry a little extra weight, loose skin, all those magical things that happen to a woman's body after carrying a child inside her for 9 months. And as much as I do want to continue running and exercising when it works out and I want to eat healthier but most of all, I want ACCEPTANCE. I want to accept my current weight, my stretch marks and loose skin. If I lose 5 lbs or 10 lbs or gain 15 I want to accept that too. But, by acceptance I don't only mean acceptance of my figure. I want to accept more than that. I want to accept that my house won't always (or ever be) spotless with 3 kids and 2 cats! I want to accept that when my kids grow up they won't remember a messy house but they will remember building puzzles and lego houses! They will remember playing with playdough and reading books! I need to accept that laying back and having fun with them is more important than constant cleaning! I need to accept that everyone does things differently. I have to accept that some other Mom's will find time to have a spotless house, make delicious fresh baked goods, cook a healthy meal, teach their toddler their abc's, workout for 2 hours and still have their hair and make up done when they their husband comes home. I need to accept that they may be able to do all of that in one day when the most I accomplished was feeding my kids and changing from pyjama pants to sweat pants! I need to accept that some days are going to suck.You know the days when you overslept, the cat puked on the front mat, the baby is teething or your daughter forgets her lunch at home. Those days can suck but I bet at the end of the day you can find a moment that didn't suck. Like, when among the tears of your teething baby you pick him up, cuddle him and sing him a lullaby and find him staring up at you with a big gummy smile. Or picking up your daughter from school and hearing her say "Mom!" and come running into your arms. Or when reading a book to your son he leans over and says "I love you". If you can accept that some days will suck, you will also accept that even though some days are hard, there is good in every single day! You just need to be open to it!

Another resolution is to spend more quality time. I want to spend quality time with my kids individually and as a family. I find that during the busy days it can become a competition for my time. But if you can give each kid private attention even for 5 minutes a day you will find them less annoying and they won't be struggling for your attention - because they got it. I can hear what my son wants to tell me without his older sister interrupting him and putting words in his mouth. I can hear about my daughters day at school and hear what was good or bad about her day or what she learned. I can spend 5 minutes, in a quiet room, with my baby and watch him discover his toes or listen to him coo and gab. I also need quality time with my husband. Even if its 5 minutes of talking in bed before we turn out the lamp. I have discovered that right now in our life is the busiest we have ever been. We have always been busy but right now its a different busy. We are running with our 5 year olds activities. We are running with our 3 year old and dealing with a baby and sleepless nights and lots of laundry and very little time for eachother as a couple. Its very easy to put our relationship on pause to concentrate on kids and trying to get 5 more minutes of sleep. But I want to make time to hear how my husbands day was or pause for a minute to hug in my kitchen. I want to curl up in bed and tell him a funny story about the kids and kiss him goodnight. Quality time. Five minutes of quality time is much better than an hour of not really "being" there.

Lastly, I want to laugh. I want to laugh more than I frown. I would rather look in the mirror and apply corrective eye cream to laugh lines than scowl lines. I want to laugh at the chaos of everyday life. I want to sit down and B.S. with my sister in law about potty training and temper tantrums and lack of sleep and laugh and know that me and her and every other Mom out there have something in common. I want to sit on the floor and wrestle and tickle my kids and laugh at their silly sense of humor! I want to read Robert Munsch books and make funny voices and hear my kids laugh and in return laugh with them! I want to tell my husband corny jokes and laugh my ass off while he rolls his eyes and starts laughing at me! Nothing feels better than talking with friends or family and laughing, laughing til your stomach hurts and your eyes water! I want more of those moments in my life!

And I guess  - if all those things fail I can always give up smoking. In 28 years of life, I haven't smoked for 28 of those years! Can you say successful new years resolution or what!

Happy New Year Everyone! I hope you find time to sit down and evaluate 2013 and think about what you want in 2014. I hope that the new year brings you health and happiness - whatever happiness is to you!