Today I read a blog about Questions that will save your relationship. I found it very interesting because the woman who wrote it wrote about the time when she had three small children at home - which is what I have. She talked about how a day as a stay at home Mom can be a whirlwind of emotions. Your day can be brutal and beautiful. You can be bored out of your mind but completely overwhelmed with everything you need to do. You can just want 5 minutes alone but the second you put your baby down you want to pick him up and take in his sweet smell again.
I know that some days I think I am the luckiest girl in the world for being able to stay home with my three babies and also feel bitter at the same time that I don't get to leave the house when its a mess and my kids are cranky! We are trained from young kids on to be polite and ask people "How was your day?" Its a nice thought to ask that question in hopes to hear "Great! How was yours?" But in reality, thats a terribly open question. On any given day if you say "Janna, how was your day?" I could say something like "I woke up exhausted and cranky but got in a cup of tea and a snuggle with Jack and then it got better. Then Jack spilled juice all over the floor and dumped out a bucket of legos and I felt like all I do is clean. But, then Henry started jumping like crazy in his jumperoo and giggling and I had to laugh and the mess seemed less extreme. Then my daughter came home from school and said she read a book and was so proud and I thought my heart was going to explode. Then I was trying to have supper ready by the time my husband got home from work but my baby was hungry at the same time and my son needed to go poop and wouldn't let anyone turn on the bathroom light but me and my daughter wanted help with her homework and I felt like I was spinning in circles!"
I like the idea of asking something like "When did you feel really happy today?" or if you can tell someone is having a rough day to say "What happened today to make you blue?" It becomes less open ended. In the blog I read she said that it seems weird to ask those things at first but is it really weird or have we just become so used to saying "How was your day?" that asking more specific things becomes "weird"? Or are we too scared to actually be honest about how we feel in fear of judgement? I often ask people "how are you?" or "How was your day?" but I do think people never answer that honestly or we don't actually listen enough to hear the truth. It becomes so normalized to just say "Fine" or "Good". I do agree that many days are good or have a lot of good in them but even with all the good we have bad and we don't need to be ashamed of that. Maybe we are exhausted or we had a bad day with the kids or at work or you and your husband got in a fight or you gained 5 pounds, etc etc. The list can go on and on. Do we have to hide that when our husbands or wives ask "How was your day?" or when your best friend says "how's it going?". Do we have to lie and say "fine" or "good". I think not. But, I think as long as we say "How are you?" we will continue to have answers that aren't that truthful. I am going to work on not only asking my husband a different version of "How was your day?" but I am going to ask my kids the same. When my daughter comes home from school and I say "How was your day?" she says "Good" or "I don't know". At bed time when I ask my kids "What was the best part of your day?" they actually think. They think about their day and can actually pick out a favorite thing. If I ask them "what was the worst part of your day?" they can usually think of something that way too, if they really stop and think. It may be as simple as "When I stubbed my toe on the ottoman" or "When you said I couldn't have a fruit snack at supper time" but nonetheless we are sitting and talking and learning more about one another. Maybe if I say "What part of your day pissed you off?" when my husband comes home grumbling about his job. Or if he is all smiles I can say "What happened to make you so happy?" then maybe I will find out a little more. Its worth a shot right?
Everyone wants someone to pay attention to them. I think that these types of questions could save your relationship...not only a relationship with your spouse or significant other but also your relationship with your kids or your friends.
Sunday, 26 January 2014
Wednesday, 22 January 2014
Celebrity Dinner
I'm hosting a celebrity dinner. Well, in my mind I am anyways! And I'm trying to think of which celebrities I would want to sit around a table with. Here's what I've come up with!
1. Jennifer Aniston. Why? Because she is my CRUSH! 'Nuff said.
2. Jimmy Fallon. He makes me laugh hysterically and seems like a genuinely cool dude.
3. Ellen DeGeneres. Also so funny and I think she is a really good person. I think she would not only be a fun party guest but she would be interesting to talk to.
4. P!NK. Maybe she will sing? Maybe she will drink too much and swear like a trucker? Maybe she will do one handed push ups on the dinner table? Either way. She's in! Love her.
5. Pope Francis. I find him fascinating. I would love to hear his word and be in his presence.
6. Oprah Winfrey. I know its a bit cliche, doesn't everyone say they want to meet her? But, I do. I think she does a lot of good in the world. More than many rich celebrities do. I think she is genuine and pretty wise. I would hope that if she came to a dinner party of mine I would continue to be in awe of her and not disappointed.
7. Julia Roberts. She is beautiful and seems like a down to earth woman. I think she would be someone who could sit and drink a glass of wine and discuss the up's and down's of being a Mom. We could be friends!
Others I would invite...Justin Timberlake (he is hilarious with Jimmy Fallon, good eye candy and he can serenade!), Bruno Mars - for my daughter. That is her crush! Meryl Streep. Leonardo DiCaprio. Will Smith.
I suppose I could go on! And on! But it would be one hell of a big dinner party! Perhaps this can be my starter?
1. Jennifer Aniston. Why? Because she is my CRUSH! 'Nuff said.
2. Jimmy Fallon. He makes me laugh hysterically and seems like a genuinely cool dude.
3. Ellen DeGeneres. Also so funny and I think she is a really good person. I think she would not only be a fun party guest but she would be interesting to talk to.
4. P!NK. Maybe she will sing? Maybe she will drink too much and swear like a trucker? Maybe she will do one handed push ups on the dinner table? Either way. She's in! Love her.
5. Pope Francis. I find him fascinating. I would love to hear his word and be in his presence.
6. Oprah Winfrey. I know its a bit cliche, doesn't everyone say they want to meet her? But, I do. I think she does a lot of good in the world. More than many rich celebrities do. I think she is genuine and pretty wise. I would hope that if she came to a dinner party of mine I would continue to be in awe of her and not disappointed.
7. Julia Roberts. She is beautiful and seems like a down to earth woman. I think she would be someone who could sit and drink a glass of wine and discuss the up's and down's of being a Mom. We could be friends!
Others I would invite...Justin Timberlake (he is hilarious with Jimmy Fallon, good eye candy and he can serenade!), Bruno Mars - for my daughter. That is her crush! Meryl Streep. Leonardo DiCaprio. Will Smith.
I suppose I could go on! And on! But it would be one hell of a big dinner party! Perhaps this can be my starter?
Friday, 17 January 2014
Oh how Fridays have changed!
Well I must admit, Friday's sure have changed (or I suppose weekends in general). I remember when I used to come home from work (or University) on a Friday, grab a quick bite, get changed, have some friends over, drink some pre drinks while deciding which pub or bar to hit up that evening. Saturday would consist of sleeping in, ordering in pizza and then going out again that night. Sunday was usually a major sleep in and then a lounge day while nursing a hangover.
Now, my Friday's consist of home cooked meals, Uno Extreme, Guess Who? (the board game), bath time, Amelia Bedelia books, Dinosaur books, cuddles in bed and snuggling a 4 month old til he falls asleep in my arms. Saturdays consist of running to the rink to cheer on a group of 5 and 6 year olds play hockey, more bed time books and snuggles, Sundays consist of big breakfasts and family fun.
So - has my life changed pretty dramatically in the past 5 years? HECK YES! But, I like where my life is going now. Now a evening out is a treat. A date with my husband or an evening with the girls is rare and thoroughly enjoyed when it happens.
Tonight as I tucked my 3 year old into bed he asked me what he always does "Mom, what was your favorite part of the day?" and today I said "Going sliding on the hill at Uncle Bob's with you, Rory and Henry!" and he said "That was my favorite part of the day too!" and when we asked Rory she said "sliding and playing board games after supper with you and Daddy". Now, those are why Fridays at home are 100% worth it. I remember Friday nights with my family growing up. I remember movie nights and board game nights. Those are fond memories in my head and now I get to make those memories for my babies.
Now my babies are sound asleep in their beds and I get to put on my jammies and curl up with my husband to watch a movie. It may not be a night of dancing at the coolest bar but it sounds pretty darn fun to me! Plus, my head is going to hurt a lot less tomorrow!!!
Have a great weekend everyone - whatever a great weekend is to you! Cheers.
Now, my Friday's consist of home cooked meals, Uno Extreme, Guess Who? (the board game), bath time, Amelia Bedelia books, Dinosaur books, cuddles in bed and snuggling a 4 month old til he falls asleep in my arms. Saturdays consist of running to the rink to cheer on a group of 5 and 6 year olds play hockey, more bed time books and snuggles, Sundays consist of big breakfasts and family fun.
So - has my life changed pretty dramatically in the past 5 years? HECK YES! But, I like where my life is going now. Now a evening out is a treat. A date with my husband or an evening with the girls is rare and thoroughly enjoyed when it happens.
Tonight as I tucked my 3 year old into bed he asked me what he always does "Mom, what was your favorite part of the day?" and today I said "Going sliding on the hill at Uncle Bob's with you, Rory and Henry!" and he said "That was my favorite part of the day too!" and when we asked Rory she said "sliding and playing board games after supper with you and Daddy". Now, those are why Fridays at home are 100% worth it. I remember Friday nights with my family growing up. I remember movie nights and board game nights. Those are fond memories in my head and now I get to make those memories for my babies.
Now my babies are sound asleep in their beds and I get to put on my jammies and curl up with my husband to watch a movie. It may not be a night of dancing at the coolest bar but it sounds pretty darn fun to me! Plus, my head is going to hurt a lot less tomorrow!!!
Have a great weekend everyone - whatever a great weekend is to you! Cheers.
Sunday, 5 January 2014
Mommy support!
Like all Mom's know - being a Mother is one of the most rewarding, fulfilling jobs in the world. Like all Mom's know - it is also the hardest job in the world. There are days when you will soar through the day and the next day will be one where you feel it will never end. Regardless of what the day, as Mom's we need to support each other. I love going on babycenter websites where you can ask a question or read other peoples questions like "Is it normal for a baby to teeth at 3 months?" and have other Mom's from all over the world give back their stories of teething and words like "Oh my daughter teethed at 2 months. It was hell! Good luck!" or "My kids never got teeth until 9 months and it was no picnic...hoping you and your baby get through it ok!" These websites are proof that all Mom's have something in common - children! Whether we are friends that grew up together, friends who just met in the past year, month, week or people we do not know at all, we all know that we need support some days for those hard days at our "job".
One of the main reasons I started blogging was for this reason. I wanted to write openly and honestly about life as a wife and mother of three. I called my blog "The good, the bad and the ugly" because that is exactly what my days can be like! For example - the good of the day thus far, sitting in Jerry's Food Emporium with my husband and kids and listening to Jack and Rory giggle and tell us jokes ("Mom, where does a snowman keep his money? A SNOW BANK") while Henry sat on my knee drooling because I gave him a taste of a french fry and I'm sure his mouth was in flavor country! The bad part of today? The fact that we needed diapers and to pick up a used jumperoo we found on kijiji and it had to be -45 outside! BRR! The ugly? While shopping in costco, Henry pooped all the way up his back and got a sponge bath in Costco bathroom and I even threw away his onesie because there was no way I was hauling that thing home! It looked like it was dipped in poop! Barf. There is good, bad and ugly in everyday (Mom or not) and I chose to blog so that new Mom's or second or third or fourth time Mom's can read it and laugh or if they are having a bad day they can realize they aren't alone. If you were in costco and your kid pooped up their back and in that moment you felt exhausted, its ok! It happened to me too and it probably happened to some other Mom too.
Yesterday, I went to my parents and my Mom tried to spend some time snuggling with my almost 4 month old but he had none of it. He cried as soon as Mom tried to hold him. This is not uncommon. He makes strange. In that moment my Mom said "He looks so cute when he smiles but I always see him sad" and honestly, that comment pulled on my heart strings. I wasn't upset that my Mom said that because its true. He is usually sad when she sees him. Many people do not get to see him as happy and fun as me and my husband and other kids do. He is the most happy when at home with just the five of us. Yesterday, after a long day of cleaning house, going to the rink to watch my daughter play hockey, laundry, and my husband being gone to fix a furnace I was sitting alone after the kids had gone to bed and in a sad moment wrote on facebook that I wanted some tips on how to help my son stop making strange. Now, as I wrote this I knew deep down that there was no magic thing to do. Its a stage and it needs to run its course and will eventually pass. I am a third time Mom, all my kids made strange. I remember when my daughter was 4 months old and we went to my Aunts for thanksgiving and she cried every time someone even looked at her. She was only happy in my arms. Jack made strange but a bit later in his life...more around 8 or 9 months and his continued into age one for quite some time. I wrote on facebook because I have many friends and acquaintances with kids and knew that if I wrote something like that I may get some really supportive responses. Comments from friends who had gone through the same things and could make me laugh or friends who went through it and can say "been there, done that, it passes, hang tight" or "Don't you hate when people say "this"? I know it drove me crazy" or simple things like "From one Mom to another - you're doing good! Hang in there".
In my moment of writing that I was in need of support - judgment free. I have written previously about judgment and that we are all guilty of it (including myself). But, a resolution I made even before new years was to be more supportive and less judgmental because like yesterday, I have had friends say "I can't get my kid to poop on the potty, what am I doing wrong?" or "My baby won't sleep, I'm exhausted, what do I do?" or "I'm on month 6 of trying to get pregnant and its not happening, what if I can't ever have a baby?" and that person who is struggling with potty training doesn't need to hear a list of do's and dont's as much as she needs to hear "It will come. You're doing it right - it will happen. Hang in there." and the tired Mom with a new baby needs to hear "He will sleep eventually, I promise. Call me if you're too exhausted and I will come over so you can have a nap. Sleep is so important." and that woman struggling to get pregnant needs to hear "You're going to make a great Mom, don't give up. Have fun trying. It will happen for you. I just know it." SUPPORT! We all need it. Mom or not we all need support. I want to thank those of you who did message me send thoughtful messages. I felt a lot of Mama love and felt much better after reading most of the comments. This morning while having tea with my husband, Henry had fallen asleep in my arms and before laying him in his crib I took a moment to breathe him in and think about what a few people had said "one day he won't want to be laying in your arms" and its true. When I wrote that message I wasn't trying to rush his baby stage. I love babies. I love this stage. Yesterday in that moment I was feeling sad for Henry because I don't like to see him distressed. I was feeling sad that my Mom wasn't able to see his cute smile and hear his happy coo's because he was too sad. I was feeling sad for me because I felt I hadn't had a moment to myself in months (I don't really have it that bad but in that moment, I felt blue). But, to my friends who made supportive, judgement free comments (you know who you are) - thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.You lifted me up and brightened my moment of sadness. Today was a new day and I felt better and felt proud to hold my little "Mama's boy" and I was happy to have my 3 year old "Mama's boy" and my 5 year old "Mama's girl" and my hubby all in tow! Today was filled with a little bad and a little ugly but it was filled with a hell of a lot of GOOD!
One of the main reasons I started blogging was for this reason. I wanted to write openly and honestly about life as a wife and mother of three. I called my blog "The good, the bad and the ugly" because that is exactly what my days can be like! For example - the good of the day thus far, sitting in Jerry's Food Emporium with my husband and kids and listening to Jack and Rory giggle and tell us jokes ("Mom, where does a snowman keep his money? A SNOW BANK") while Henry sat on my knee drooling because I gave him a taste of a french fry and I'm sure his mouth was in flavor country! The bad part of today? The fact that we needed diapers and to pick up a used jumperoo we found on kijiji and it had to be -45 outside! BRR! The ugly? While shopping in costco, Henry pooped all the way up his back and got a sponge bath in Costco bathroom and I even threw away his onesie because there was no way I was hauling that thing home! It looked like it was dipped in poop! Barf. There is good, bad and ugly in everyday (Mom or not) and I chose to blog so that new Mom's or second or third or fourth time Mom's can read it and laugh or if they are having a bad day they can realize they aren't alone. If you were in costco and your kid pooped up their back and in that moment you felt exhausted, its ok! It happened to me too and it probably happened to some other Mom too.
Yesterday, I went to my parents and my Mom tried to spend some time snuggling with my almost 4 month old but he had none of it. He cried as soon as Mom tried to hold him. This is not uncommon. He makes strange. In that moment my Mom said "He looks so cute when he smiles but I always see him sad" and honestly, that comment pulled on my heart strings. I wasn't upset that my Mom said that because its true. He is usually sad when she sees him. Many people do not get to see him as happy and fun as me and my husband and other kids do. He is the most happy when at home with just the five of us. Yesterday, after a long day of cleaning house, going to the rink to watch my daughter play hockey, laundry, and my husband being gone to fix a furnace I was sitting alone after the kids had gone to bed and in a sad moment wrote on facebook that I wanted some tips on how to help my son stop making strange. Now, as I wrote this I knew deep down that there was no magic thing to do. Its a stage and it needs to run its course and will eventually pass. I am a third time Mom, all my kids made strange. I remember when my daughter was 4 months old and we went to my Aunts for thanksgiving and she cried every time someone even looked at her. She was only happy in my arms. Jack made strange but a bit later in his life...more around 8 or 9 months and his continued into age one for quite some time. I wrote on facebook because I have many friends and acquaintances with kids and knew that if I wrote something like that I may get some really supportive responses. Comments from friends who had gone through the same things and could make me laugh or friends who went through it and can say "been there, done that, it passes, hang tight" or "Don't you hate when people say "this"? I know it drove me crazy" or simple things like "From one Mom to another - you're doing good! Hang in there".
In my moment of writing that I was in need of support - judgment free. I have written previously about judgment and that we are all guilty of it (including myself). But, a resolution I made even before new years was to be more supportive and less judgmental because like yesterday, I have had friends say "I can't get my kid to poop on the potty, what am I doing wrong?" or "My baby won't sleep, I'm exhausted, what do I do?" or "I'm on month 6 of trying to get pregnant and its not happening, what if I can't ever have a baby?" and that person who is struggling with potty training doesn't need to hear a list of do's and dont's as much as she needs to hear "It will come. You're doing it right - it will happen. Hang in there." and the tired Mom with a new baby needs to hear "He will sleep eventually, I promise. Call me if you're too exhausted and I will come over so you can have a nap. Sleep is so important." and that woman struggling to get pregnant needs to hear "You're going to make a great Mom, don't give up. Have fun trying. It will happen for you. I just know it." SUPPORT! We all need it. Mom or not we all need support. I want to thank those of you who did message me send thoughtful messages. I felt a lot of Mama love and felt much better after reading most of the comments. This morning while having tea with my husband, Henry had fallen asleep in my arms and before laying him in his crib I took a moment to breathe him in and think about what a few people had said "one day he won't want to be laying in your arms" and its true. When I wrote that message I wasn't trying to rush his baby stage. I love babies. I love this stage. Yesterday in that moment I was feeling sad for Henry because I don't like to see him distressed. I was feeling sad that my Mom wasn't able to see his cute smile and hear his happy coo's because he was too sad. I was feeling sad for me because I felt I hadn't had a moment to myself in months (I don't really have it that bad but in that moment, I felt blue). But, to my friends who made supportive, judgement free comments (you know who you are) - thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.You lifted me up and brightened my moment of sadness. Today was a new day and I felt better and felt proud to hold my little "Mama's boy" and I was happy to have my 3 year old "Mama's boy" and my 5 year old "Mama's girl" and my hubby all in tow! Today was filled with a little bad and a little ugly but it was filled with a hell of a lot of GOOD!
Wednesday, 1 January 2014
New Years Resolutions
January 1st is always the time when everyone is making resolutions. Don't kid yourself, we all do it. We choose something we want to change and sometimes we succeed and we do in fact do our resolution for longer than a day! Sometimes its a month, a couple months...sometimes its an epic fail! But, with that being said, here I am on January 1st and I am thinking of all the things I would like to do in 2014...what changes do I want to make to better my life? I could make a list of 100 things - easy. But, I also want to be a little realistic and only do things I can actually accomplish. I can talk all day about making a change but nothing changes by talking...I actually have to do it!
As I pondered what I wanted most I went to losing weight. Since having Henry almost 4 months ago I carry a little extra weight, loose skin, all those magical things that happen to a woman's body after carrying a child inside her for 9 months. And as much as I do want to continue running and exercising when it works out and I want to eat healthier but most of all, I want ACCEPTANCE. I want to accept my current weight, my stretch marks and loose skin. If I lose 5 lbs or 10 lbs or gain 15 I want to accept that too. But, by acceptance I don't only mean acceptance of my figure. I want to accept more than that. I want to accept that my house won't always (or ever be) spotless with 3 kids and 2 cats! I want to accept that when my kids grow up they won't remember a messy house but they will remember building puzzles and lego houses! They will remember playing with playdough and reading books! I need to accept that laying back and having fun with them is more important than constant cleaning! I need to accept that everyone does things differently. I have to accept that some other Mom's will find time to have a spotless house, make delicious fresh baked goods, cook a healthy meal, teach their toddler their abc's, workout for 2 hours and still have their hair and make up done when they their husband comes home. I need to accept that they may be able to do all of that in one day when the most I accomplished was feeding my kids and changing from pyjama pants to sweat pants! I need to accept that some days are going to suck.You know the days when you overslept, the cat puked on the front mat, the baby is teething or your daughter forgets her lunch at home. Those days can suck but I bet at the end of the day you can find a moment that didn't suck. Like, when among the tears of your teething baby you pick him up, cuddle him and sing him a lullaby and find him staring up at you with a big gummy smile. Or picking up your daughter from school and hearing her say "Mom!" and come running into your arms. Or when reading a book to your son he leans over and says "I love you". If you can accept that some days will suck, you will also accept that even though some days are hard, there is good in every single day! You just need to be open to it!
Another resolution is to spend more quality time. I want to spend quality time with my kids individually and as a family. I find that during the busy days it can become a competition for my time. But if you can give each kid private attention even for 5 minutes a day you will find them less annoying and they won't be struggling for your attention - because they got it. I can hear what my son wants to tell me without his older sister interrupting him and putting words in his mouth. I can hear about my daughters day at school and hear what was good or bad about her day or what she learned. I can spend 5 minutes, in a quiet room, with my baby and watch him discover his toes or listen to him coo and gab. I also need quality time with my husband. Even if its 5 minutes of talking in bed before we turn out the lamp. I have discovered that right now in our life is the busiest we have ever been. We have always been busy but right now its a different busy. We are running with our 5 year olds activities. We are running with our 3 year old and dealing with a baby and sleepless nights and lots of laundry and very little time for eachother as a couple. Its very easy to put our relationship on pause to concentrate on kids and trying to get 5 more minutes of sleep. But I want to make time to hear how my husbands day was or pause for a minute to hug in my kitchen. I want to curl up in bed and tell him a funny story about the kids and kiss him goodnight. Quality time. Five minutes of quality time is much better than an hour of not really "being" there.
Lastly, I want to laugh. I want to laugh more than I frown. I would rather look in the mirror and apply corrective eye cream to laugh lines than scowl lines. I want to laugh at the chaos of everyday life. I want to sit down and B.S. with my sister in law about potty training and temper tantrums and lack of sleep and laugh and know that me and her and every other Mom out there have something in common. I want to sit on the floor and wrestle and tickle my kids and laugh at their silly sense of humor! I want to read Robert Munsch books and make funny voices and hear my kids laugh and in return laugh with them! I want to tell my husband corny jokes and laugh my ass off while he rolls his eyes and starts laughing at me! Nothing feels better than talking with friends or family and laughing, laughing til your stomach hurts and your eyes water! I want more of those moments in my life!
And I guess - if all those things fail I can always give up smoking. In 28 years of life, I haven't smoked for 28 of those years! Can you say successful new years resolution or what!
Happy New Year Everyone! I hope you find time to sit down and evaluate 2013 and think about what you want in 2014. I hope that the new year brings you health and happiness - whatever happiness is to you!
As I pondered what I wanted most I went to losing weight. Since having Henry almost 4 months ago I carry a little extra weight, loose skin, all those magical things that happen to a woman's body after carrying a child inside her for 9 months. And as much as I do want to continue running and exercising when it works out and I want to eat healthier but most of all, I want ACCEPTANCE. I want to accept my current weight, my stretch marks and loose skin. If I lose 5 lbs or 10 lbs or gain 15 I want to accept that too. But, by acceptance I don't only mean acceptance of my figure. I want to accept more than that. I want to accept that my house won't always (or ever be) spotless with 3 kids and 2 cats! I want to accept that when my kids grow up they won't remember a messy house but they will remember building puzzles and lego houses! They will remember playing with playdough and reading books! I need to accept that laying back and having fun with them is more important than constant cleaning! I need to accept that everyone does things differently. I have to accept that some other Mom's will find time to have a spotless house, make delicious fresh baked goods, cook a healthy meal, teach their toddler their abc's, workout for 2 hours and still have their hair and make up done when they their husband comes home. I need to accept that they may be able to do all of that in one day when the most I accomplished was feeding my kids and changing from pyjama pants to sweat pants! I need to accept that some days are going to suck.You know the days when you overslept, the cat puked on the front mat, the baby is teething or your daughter forgets her lunch at home. Those days can suck but I bet at the end of the day you can find a moment that didn't suck. Like, when among the tears of your teething baby you pick him up, cuddle him and sing him a lullaby and find him staring up at you with a big gummy smile. Or picking up your daughter from school and hearing her say "Mom!" and come running into your arms. Or when reading a book to your son he leans over and says "I love you". If you can accept that some days will suck, you will also accept that even though some days are hard, there is good in every single day! You just need to be open to it!
Another resolution is to spend more quality time. I want to spend quality time with my kids individually and as a family. I find that during the busy days it can become a competition for my time. But if you can give each kid private attention even for 5 minutes a day you will find them less annoying and they won't be struggling for your attention - because they got it. I can hear what my son wants to tell me without his older sister interrupting him and putting words in his mouth. I can hear about my daughters day at school and hear what was good or bad about her day or what she learned. I can spend 5 minutes, in a quiet room, with my baby and watch him discover his toes or listen to him coo and gab. I also need quality time with my husband. Even if its 5 minutes of talking in bed before we turn out the lamp. I have discovered that right now in our life is the busiest we have ever been. We have always been busy but right now its a different busy. We are running with our 5 year olds activities. We are running with our 3 year old and dealing with a baby and sleepless nights and lots of laundry and very little time for eachother as a couple. Its very easy to put our relationship on pause to concentrate on kids and trying to get 5 more minutes of sleep. But I want to make time to hear how my husbands day was or pause for a minute to hug in my kitchen. I want to curl up in bed and tell him a funny story about the kids and kiss him goodnight. Quality time. Five minutes of quality time is much better than an hour of not really "being" there.
Lastly, I want to laugh. I want to laugh more than I frown. I would rather look in the mirror and apply corrective eye cream to laugh lines than scowl lines. I want to laugh at the chaos of everyday life. I want to sit down and B.S. with my sister in law about potty training and temper tantrums and lack of sleep and laugh and know that me and her and every other Mom out there have something in common. I want to sit on the floor and wrestle and tickle my kids and laugh at their silly sense of humor! I want to read Robert Munsch books and make funny voices and hear my kids laugh and in return laugh with them! I want to tell my husband corny jokes and laugh my ass off while he rolls his eyes and starts laughing at me! Nothing feels better than talking with friends or family and laughing, laughing til your stomach hurts and your eyes water! I want more of those moments in my life!
And I guess - if all those things fail I can always give up smoking. In 28 years of life, I haven't smoked for 28 of those years! Can you say successful new years resolution or what!
Happy New Year Everyone! I hope you find time to sit down and evaluate 2013 and think about what you want in 2014. I hope that the new year brings you health and happiness - whatever happiness is to you!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)